i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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