is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
