I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
