Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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