Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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