The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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