Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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