Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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