Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
