So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
