we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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