We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
