So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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