i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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