we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My boob is missing a layer of skin
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
