Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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