You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still dying that you shit outside
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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