in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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