and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
