I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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