You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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