I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
