If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
