then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
