Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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