I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
