so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
