Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
FUCK WHALES
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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