I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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