That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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