Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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