Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
