Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
