Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
