Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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