Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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