he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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