I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize