just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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