I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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