between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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