She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
