Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.