marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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