what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just gargled with NyQuil
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I smell like Dick and happiness
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
