He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All the doctor said was why
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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