Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
