Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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