Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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