My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
