Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
