He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
only you would photoshop your dick
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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