they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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