Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
