Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
