Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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