i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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