Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
