Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
