i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no, he came in my armpit
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
