Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
