I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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