Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
