My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
